Why does summer have to be so depressing?
We do get out of school. which gives us acedemic freedom. yet. it makes some of us realize we don't have many if any real friends.
I am not saying I don't have friends. I have many. but I don't have any that are here when I need them. any that I am the first they call when they are bored and they are the first to be there when I am bored. I have friends I can get online and talk to when I am bored. and some I can call. but none that will make time randomly to hangout with me. none that I can jsut call up and meet in 10mins to randomly spend a day in towson with no money being bored and crazy.
All my friends have other more important friends. or are too far away to be spontanious with.
I am jsut glad Katey comes down every once in a while. and I go to the mal every friday to chill. if I didn't have either of those to look foreward to. my summer would be more depressing than last summer. I would just sit here on my computer ALL summer and wait for school to begin and the boredom to end. I spend my weeks waiting for friday so I can go and be happy.
My mom even knows how sad summers are for me. she said that summers have always been sad for me. even when I was little.
Just sitting here, day after day, builds up this insane ammount of hyperness inside me. when I go to the mall every friday I am always overly hyper because I havn't been able to release any of that energy all week.
except for that random day when I chill with the neighborhood crew. and get high. then go home, back to the boredom.

Summers make me sad.
hang out with me?
lol
Skittle
<3

That kid who I let make me and break me...he tried to make me his again. he actually did call to talk to me. and we had a chat. and he said he loved me. which CONFUSED the fuck out of me. then I saw him at the mall friday and he kissed me. but when I got there. he was hanging all over another chick. pissing me off. I guess him and I are cool now. hes 18 as of yesterday. so hes off limits. UGH!.

whatever.

Peace
<3 Skittle

I let him make make me and break me. He said I am wrapped around him. and that I cracked. whatever the fuck that means. did he think that every friday when I went to the mall. and he made out with me, and flirted with me. that in my mind that meant nothing? and If that is what he thought. then he must not have payed attention to my attempts to be his and my greiving over him when he didn't say hi to me at all for the past year. I let him create a false sence of hope for me and then drop kick me striaght on my pale bony ass. I was so prepared to tell him how I actually felt about him. and how much he fucking meant to me. and when I started. he shut me up like I an just a little yapping puppy he can muzle.and said that I cracked. and he never thought I would do that. I am not the only girl that has a heart to ever fall for him. he must break hearts often. I know I have broken hearts..many hearts in my day. and my heart has been broken a few times as well. but nothing has ever hurt as fucking horribly as he made it. then.. he keeps trying to change the subject while I am on the phone and tears are welling up in my eyes. not tears of love. not ters of fuking joy. tears of hate for his selflessness and my stupidity. as if he dosn't care how I feel. then, pathetically, he said he will call me tomorow. and he said I should go to bed and get some sleep. I needed rest. he said it as if he fucking cared how I felt. as if he wants to make sure I am okay. he only cares when the conversation is over. whenI am about to spend my night wallowing in self pitty crying over him. I won't cry over his stupid ass. I will take this as an expierence. and strive off my newly achieved energy. to maybe make something of myself.

thanks for being an ass.
<3 skittle

Summer. This is boring. All I do all day is sit here, in my pathetic boredom, and hope that someone wants to do something. I still sit here in my lonly state waiting for Friday to come, so I can feel wanted and feel loved by people I hardly know. I don't know why my summer is this way. and it actually makes me sad. I have no plans all summer. No vacations. I want to go camping. But that costs money. I want to do something, anything. Today, I woke up at 130 pm. I watched the L word. then I ate food. sat at my computer. checked my myspace. changed my layout. talked to people on AIM. hoped that maybe Jason would come over and we could chill. Watched some more of the L word. took out the trash. talked to my neighbor for a while. then sat here. and did nothing.  It is now 620 pm. and I am bored as hell. there is nothing to do. I think I am going to watch more of the L word. sad lfe it is indeed.

<3

OMG LIKE NO WAY!

idk.

I am weird.'

RAWR!